Want to compost but just don’t have the time? Have the time, but haven’t a clue where to start? Welcome to carefree composting,
the fast and furious, utterly fail-proof art of turning almost everything you normally throw out into a rich pile of garden goodness.
Diana Noonan makes it easy for gardeners on the go.
But I don’t have space for a compost pile!
Yes you do! A 90-square-centimetre plot of flat(ish) outdoor surface is all that’s required. Any surface will do, from grass to concrete. A sunny spot is great, but shade will be fine, too.
Do I actually have to, like, build something?
If you want to, why not? If you don’t, no problem. If you’re building a structure, make it no smaller than a cube with sides measuring 90cm (but bigger is better). Sides can be made of recycled wood or roofing iron, wire netting wrapped around poles, old concrete blocks, or even ex-land agent’s hoardings and political billboards (turn the politicians’ faces inwards).If building isn’t your thing, and you can afford one of those snazzy, lidded, black polythene bins, go for it! Alternatively, make your pile against the side of a clay bank or concrete wall, or go freestyle and build straight up from the ground. Compost can get pretty hot, so don’t build your pile against flammable material such as a wooden fence or the side of the house.
So what goes into this compost pile?
Just about everything. To help you decide, ask: was this waste material once living? If the answer is ‘yes’, you can almost guarantee it’s okay to put it in the compost. So, dig out your newspapers, coffee grinds, teabags, cardboard cartons, wrecked cotton jeans, the contents of the vacuum cleaner bag, food scraps, the rattan wastepaper basket with the hole in the bottom, the takeaway coffee cup, even the hair you clipped from the poodle. In they go.
But I don’t have time to chop everything up!
Who does! And what does it matter, anyway? The smaller you make your bits of living material, the faster they’ll decompose. Even if you leave everything whole, it’ll get there eventually – even the cotton jeans. I have to admit, shaking out the newspapers a bit does stop them forming a wad, but wads of paper will also break down (and worms love them). Don’t fuss over the cellophane tape on the cartons, either. When you fork out your lovely compost in a few months’ time, the inorganic stuff (including those dreaded plastic stickers on apples) will be easy to pull out, and can be biffed into a waiting rubbish sack. Put into a bucket anything that’s only partly decomposed, and pop it into the next compost pile you construct.
I thought you had to layer everything?
It helps to have layers of green stuff, such as grass clippings, food scraps, the outer leaves of cabbages and fresh weeds, between layers of brown stuff, like dead leaves and flowers, animal manure, seaweed, straw and sawdust, but there is no wrong way. However, it is important to sprinkle a handful of lime (you get it from a garden centre) into the pile every now and then. And always start your pile on a 3-4cm high base of sticks (the sticks should be about as thick as your finger) and/or twiggy shrub clippings. This open layer helps air get into the pile and stops the compost pile becoming stinky.
What’s with the worms?
Everything! Worms are like living waste disposers. They chomp through the contents of your compost pile (cardboard and all) and feed their plant-nourishing excrement back into the compost. Red worms and stripy tiger worms are the ones you want, not the big fatties that live in the turfs under the lawn. Most people find that composting worms mysteriously make themselves at home in the compost pile after a week or so. If this doesn’t happen, beg some “starter worms” from a friend’s compost. They breed fast so just a handful will do. In the worst-case scenario, go online and purchase a packet.
Truly – they’ll be delivered by post.
So, how does my compost pile heat up?
Tiny lifeforms living in the compost are the force behind the heat. To help them get to work, feed your pile with fresh animal manure and green waste (especially grass clippings). The more the better, so beg some from your neighbours as well. Compressing helps with heat, too. Each time you add a layer or two of waste to the pile, get the kids to jump on it so everything gets well pressed down. If you haven’t had any rain for a while, add a couple of buckets of water to the pile. And don’t forget to top the stack with a cosy covering of old carpet, sacks, recycled cardboard or a tarpaulin to lock in the warmth.
What’s with this ‘turning the pile’?
Turning the pile is only for the people who have time and energy to do it. The rest of us turn nothing but a blind eye. ‘Turning the pile’ means that, after a few months, you pull the pile apart and put the stuff from the outer edges into the middle and vice versa and it’s so everything gets a turn to heat up, and nasty weeds and bugs get cooked into oblivion. If you don’t get time to turn the pile, it’s not the end of the world. You might get weed seeds in your garden, but it’s nothing mulch won’t put paid to. You may also get a few useful seeds such as pumpkin, zucchini and rocket sprouting. As for the nasties, it’s a risk, but so is everything in gardening. And, in my book, risky compost is better than no compost at all.
So, that’s all there is to it?
Ah, not quite. Once you start composting, even in a rushed kind of way, you may find the activity begins to occupy your thoughts. That’s because composting is seriously addictive. It’s getting ‘something for nothing’ and the ‘something’ is so good for the garden, you just want to keep on making more and more of it.
FAQ:
1. Won’t meat and fish scraps attract rats and mice?
Maybe. It depends how deep in the pile you bury the waste and how hot the pile is. Set some rat traps around your pile if it’s a concern or plant catnip close by. Alternatively, use a lidded, vermin-proof bin.
2. I thought worms didn’t like citrus skins. Just like you, worms will leave on their plate what they don’t fancy eating. But the citrus will rot down, eventually, without the worms’ help.
3. Won’t my neighbours complain about flies round the pile?
Not if you cover your food scraps with some soil, grass clippings or sawdust, and pass a fresh lettuce over the fence every now and then.
4. How do I get my compost pile to heat past warm?
Unless you’re making the pile your life’s work, don’t expect miracles. Check its dimensions (it should be no less than a cube with sides of 90cm). To promote heat, add some extra green material and animal manure, cross your fingers, and if the temperature is still not outstanding, don’t panic. Decomposition will still work on cool. It’ll just take a little longer.
